Self destruction

//self destruction

She gave up thinking for herself 1.19.97 gold hon men.
when she went to the school
where daddy pulled
a string or two
so they’d take her in.
She knew. So she never
felt equal to
her classmates
though she graduated too,
and she lost more of her cool
when she met a man,
older by fifteen years
who told her what to do.
She married him,
lost her shape
became
a Big Woman,
a Big Drinker,
a Big Smoker,
thinking askew,
looked like she needed a shower,
needed to wash her hair,
a voice like a foghorn.

Then he had a TIA
and she panicked, lost 40 pounds,
gave parties, had her nails
and hair dyed, looked good too,
with expensive clothes.
She was especially nice
to widowers,
and the husbands of sick women,
while he watched her
prepare, uncaringly, for his demise,
looking for the next guy
who’d tell her what to do.
One winter, leaving a party
where she’d had too much to drink,
she slipped on ice,
and, to be precise,
she’s the one in Paradise
and he’s dating a girl of 22.